Night Teeth

tmdb28039023

13 Sep 2022 · via TMDb

1.0

This movie’s vampires follow three rules: 1) don't let humans know of their existence, 2) don't feed on someone without their consent, and 3) never go to Boyle Heights without permission. The first rule makes sense, the second is a surefire way to starve, and the third is a sign that these vampires should consider turning into zombies, because eating someone's brain is the closest they'll ever get to having one. According to the opening narration, “Things were much simpler in the old days. We hunted you and you hunted us. In Los Angeles, no one fought harder than a place called Boyle Heights. So, we made a truce to keep the peace between us and you.” My question is why, having the whole world at their disposal, do vampires place so much importance on this particular neighborhood? Do you know how many neighborhoods there are in Los Angeles? Literally hundreds, all of them by definition offering less resistance. Why Boyle Heights, with its population of less than 100,000 (and that’s before you subtract the people who wouldn’t consent to having their blood sucked, why I assume is the majority), and not Encino, or Sherman Oaks, or Reseda? Not to mention the rest of California, or the other 49 states of the Union, or Europe, Asia, Africa, etc., etc. Perhaps the vampires want Boyle Heights merely because they can’t have it, which supports my theory about their low IQs. Always according to the narration, “We lived in secret and you convinced yourselves that you had never really believed. You forgot to be afraid. You made books and movies about us with most of the details wrong [a category Night Teeth definitely belongs in], while we became richer and more powerful than you could ever imagine." This reminds me of From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money, in which the villains try to rob a bank, and when asked why vampires would want to do such a thing, the hero shrugs and speculates that “ vampires need money like everyone else." Aside from robbing a bank, how exactly do you become a rich and powerful vampire? The answer to this question would make a much more interesting and entertaining movie than Night Teeth.